Monophobia
by Hikari Takaishi
Summary: Eh, I'm slowly getting over yet another writer's block thingy... Takeru has a fear; what kind is it? Read and find out. I know it's kind of a weird ending, but I couldn't figure out any other way to end it. (cough*Givemesomeideasforotherstoriesplease!*cou


On the brink of December, the past month ended with a horrible twist. There were reported robberies and the stealing of hearts, the bad grades and the surprising defeats in sports, and there was the oh so amazing break-up of which two young children witnessed with aching minds. It was the last Christmas memory the Ishida family spent together. As it was a cherished memory for the two kids.

This story begins when December 24th draws near and when the family settles down in front of the glowing Christmas tree with looks of love across their faces. Two young blondes sat in front of the tree, shaking wrapped boxes wildly and giggling childishly. All the while, the mother and father sat on the couch with their fingers laced and her head on his shoulder. It was a known moment of bliss and purity.

Nothing special happened on that Christmas, or so the kids thought. The next morning, they awoke to open their presents that Santa had brought them. And, almost like tradition, they bounced into their parent's room with their faces aglow. 

"Mama!"

"Papa!"

"What-who-kids?"

"Santa came and gave us presents."

Eventually, the youths dragged their mother and father into the living room. The tree shone brightly and proudly with the gifts wrapped neatly. It was paradise for the two boys. And it was a wonderful day for the two adults. Nothing could stand in the way of happiness… Nothing…

--- Several years later, Yamato is 16, Takeru is 13 ---

The weather was stormy and cold, yet it was a nice reminder of the holiday season. Snow was falling rapidly and packing on the cold ground. A young blond and a young brunette walked down the slippery path, laughing out of joy. It was Takeru and Hikari. 

"Who are you a Secret Santa for?" the girl whispered almost secretly even though no one was seen around them.

"It's a secret." He murmured playfully.

"Oh you!" the girl smiled and pulled his hand out of his pocket. Her own hands wrapped around his and she leaned against his shoulder. Again they talked and smiled without a care in the world. But behind his brave composure, Takeru was worried of what will become of him. What seemed like a perfect life was actually tearing him apart.

The young boy never told his girlfriend about the sudden decrease of grade percents in school. Nor did he mention it to his older half-brother or mother. It was a devastating secret that he kept to himself. Why he did such things, he didn't know any more. Puberty was one answer he received from a friend. He didn't believe that. He handled things well; he came onto the new age with bravery and all that jazz. He was well prepared. But something wasn't right in his life. 

At the age of twelve, Takeru justified three academic awards for language arts, science, and math. He was the star of his basketball team for the second year in a row. Hikari had officially become his to hold and love. And his friendships with people grew tremendously with ease. But one downside followed him into his thirteenth year of living… His brother, Yamato, and himself argued and shared their first fistfight. Thing led to another and Takeru spent the last month of his break with a fractured shoulder blade. He and Yamato never spoke to each other since. Not even around their birthdays or holidays. Christmas was coming and Takeru was sure they'd forgive each other. He was positive… Everything was going to be okay.

--- One week before Christmas ---

Takeru sat on his bed with his head in his hands. Both his main light and lamplight were turned off and only the setting sun kept his room lit. It was noticeable that he was on the verge of tears, but he told himself to hold it in. To be strong and act like he usually acts. But he wasn't brave any longer. He heard the word that Hikari planned to break up with him after a solid year of a good relationship. After school that past Friday, he realized that that so-called rumor wasn't a rumor. It was a fact. She left him to be with another young man. Why she did this, he didn't know. Wishing he did, however, he stood up and shook his head to snap into reality. Or tried to get back in touch with himself.

It was just like Yamato, an argument, a fight, and then the cease of speech. For him and Hikari, it ended with a simple "Good-bye." Those words pained his heart as he thought about it. Takeru realized that he was alone now. All alone…

--- Four days before Christmas ---

"Monophobia." 

"What?" Takeru sat up from lying on a long leather padded couch.

"A phobia, son, a phobia." A woman replied and turned in her chair. Takeru worried his mother so much about his sinking achievements that she called to appoint him a meeting with a psychiatrist. So there he was. 

"What phobia would that be?" Takeru asked, looking up and the near stranger with his bright blue eyes with decorated dark circles beneath them.

The woman twirls her pen around a lock of her reddish-brown hair and answered, "It's a fear of being alone- -in solitude.

"Well that's stupid." Takeru laughed and leaned back against the couch. "I'm not afraid of anything."

"You are so. You're brave act isn't going to get you very far, young man."

"I am not. You don't even know me, let alone my fears."

"You said you were worried when your father left you and your mom." She replied quickly, "And when your brother refused to speak to you, you panicked and started to fall behind in school. And now that your girlfriend has…"

"Aw, shut up. You don't know anything." Takeru turned away stubbornly.

She laughed. "Come now, be honest. You don't want to be alone."

"Who does?"

"People… But among you and your friends… You are more of the sweet and gentle type. An almost innocent creature despite what you think. Do you trust many people?"

Takeru blinked and reached for a basketball that was on the ground. He tossed it up and caught it before he replied, "Not a lot. I have to get to know them."

"Would you trust me?"

"You're a psycho-psychiatrist I mean…" Takeru chuckled uneasily, " Sorry. Anyway, you'd tell people even though you say you won't."

"I will not."

"You will so."

"Now, now; you don't know me." She smiled. "My favorite food is sushi. What's yours?"

Takeru frowned at the way she was treating him like a child. "Pickles, pizza, peanut butter--"

"A lot of junk food?"

"Hey, pickles are healthy." He looked at her. "Aren't they, Ms. Ataya?"

"Ah, I guess you're right. What are you good at?"

"I dunno."

"Come on."

"I used to be good in school and sports- - especially basketball."

"Okay." The young psychiatrist removed her glasses and slipped her hand underneath the basketball then lifted it into her own grasp. Takeru looked up. "How do you know you're not good at such things any more?"

"Have you seen my grades? Or my game performance?"

"Everyone travels through rocky terrain before he reaches Heaven's Paradise."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She sat down on the side of the couch and put the ball on her lap. "Everyone has tough times. But in the end, it's worth it."

Takeru looked up into her caring green eyes and found a feeling he never felt before. He was feeling reassured. 

"Anyway," Ms. Ataya stood up and let the ball roll off her lap; "Just remember that you are not alone. Everyone has feuds, some great, some weak, but everything will turn out just fine. And about that Hikari girl; she'll come around again. Nobody could resist a sweet boy like yourself." 

Takeru blushed a little bit and stood up. " Thanks, I guess." He nodded thankfully and started to exit. On his way out, he snatched up a candy-cane and waved. 

--- Christmas Day ---

"Merry Christmas, Mom." Takeru nodded to no one. It was Christmas morning and his mother had to go run an errand for her work. The chilled room fit his mood perfectly. It was cold and dark looking. Without any thought, Takeru picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?"

Takeru smiled at the sound of the voice. "Hi, Ms. Ataya. It's me, Takeru."

"Ah! Merry Christmas, Takeru!"

"Merry Christmas to you too." 

A short conversation flowed naturally from the boy. But he soon ended it, saying he wanted to call somebody. She understood and they hung up with a final 'Merry Christmas.' Takeru dialed another number and listened to the rings. One ring… two rings… three--

"Hello?" a pleasant voice raced through his mind and his knees felt wobbly. 

"Hikari? It-it's me, Takeru."

"Oh, um, hi."

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't talk to me." He said, almost too calmly.

"No, I just-"

"Anyway, I just wanted to wish you a joyful Christmas and all. So uh… bye."

"No, wait."

He waited.

"Takeru, I'm sorry. Really I am. I didn't really mean when I said 'good-bye.' Love does that funny thing to you, you know?"

"No I don't, actually."

"Well, I thought you didn't love me for some odd reason." She giggled at herself, but there was pain in her laughter. "My friends started to say that you were going to break up with me. So I-I...I'm sorry."

Takeru thought of being cruel and mean and different from the way he usually was. But then he remembered what his short meeting with his psychiatrist was about. 

_You are more of the sweet and gentle type. An almost innocent creature despite what you think._

"Hey, Hikari?" Takeru asked, gripping onto the receiver with his other hand.

"Yes?"

"Would you…" he stared out the window, "would you make me happy again and let me hold you like I used to? Like the days we would walk together and talk to each other like we were around many but instead, we were alone? And would you let me say I-I love you again?"

There was a pause over the phone. Takeru heard a faint release of air and she answered, "Only if you could forgive me."

"Of course…"

"I'm really sorry, Takeru."

"I'm sorry too, Hikari."

"M-merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Hikari." Takeru said, almost in a whisper. Another minute and he hung up only to dial yet another number. One ring, two rings, three rings…

"Hey-oh?"

"Yamato?"

"Takeru?" Both of their voices sounded alike. And as if they were on cue, they together said, "Merry Christmas, brother."

Takeru spent his Christmas on the phone, curing his fear of being alone. Monophobia… it's a frightening thing when you cannot realize it is scaring you. On that Christmas, Takeru reunited with his love, got in touch with his brother, and ate the first delicious meal in a long time with his mother. In moments of depression, he realized it was better to release his feelings rather than keep it bottled up inside.

__

Depression only leads to sorrow and pity. When one pities oneself, he or she believes others shall follow and attention will be based on one person. When such things happen, only confusion can help. Even love has its way of showing life's path. For pity can prove a man's helplessness. But even love can teach him to dance.

Does this story make any sense to you? I'm sorry. I'm having a terrible time in the writing stuff. And in my home/school life as well. I just feel like I need to write. Even if it is stupid. ^_^; I believe I'm going to get… 2 reviews on this, so I'll delete it in a couple days or so. I'm just curious how other peoples' curiosity works. R/R if you want. Or r/i. Either way. Oh, I think I'm going to give up on the Basic Relationships 101 series; people lost interest so there's no need for me to continue. Sorry for rambling. Tata! ~HT


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